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Introduction

Are you ready to go down the rabbit hole? To visit a surreal world, where black is white and white is carrots?

A friend, Metacognician in Shanghai, describes the situation as follows: “Life is more absurd than movies. I've gone down the rabbit hole too, when it just becomes more and more strange and you wonder how that all is supposed to make sense.” I asked him if I should just embrace it. He answered, “Why should you ... change the universe?”

It started with a psychotic named Jim Kiraly who resides, we think, at 6329 Twinberry Circle, Avila Beach, California.

Jim Kiraly is a respected citizen. A churchgoer. A Vice President of Transamerica Corporation. And a violent abuser who tried to use an emergency anti-violence measure, one intended to protect battered women, to stop his victim in a wheelchair from writing a book.

Concise enough? :)

For attorneys: Jim Kiraly filed for CLETS against his son and victim, who lived 200 miles away, did not own a car, and was in a wheelchair. His son and victim was not asked to end communications. Jim had no (zero) specific and relevant allegations that were not perjury. But he turned down repeated offers of no-contact and a signed stipulation that gave him everything but CLETS. He insisted on CLETS if his victim ever once “discussed” him with third parties.

In the end, Jim Kiraly signed an agreement far weaker than the ones he'd been offered.

A review of Court paperwork and other materials will tend to confirm that Jim and other parties, including attorneys on all sides, committed multiple felonies, crimes, and faux pas. :P

The word “abuser” is stated here publicly and without equivocation. A formal offer is hereby made to reaffirm the word in writing and under oath. Attorneys will understand the significance of the point. In short, there is little terror of a threatened defamation suit on this side. Actually, we feel that such a suit will fit nicely up Jim Kiraly's abuser ass.

Jim has one son, Ken Kiraly, who invented the Amazon Kindle and is one of the leads at Amazon's secret Lab126. Another son, Tom Kiraly is one of the leads, a Vice President-CFO type, at medical insurance firms, including one of the largest, Humana Corporation.

These people and some of the biggest names in Silicon Valley legal circles have committed or are involved in multiple crimes.

For the next decade or two, we're going to explore the crimes that these people committed, the motivations and the denial involved, the background and histories that led each person to make the choices that they did, and ways to build upon what happened and move towards positive societal goals.

There's plenty to go over. These people committed or were involved in: Spousal abuse, child abuse, DDOS (a highly prosecutable violation of CFAA), extortion, perjury, conspiracy to commit perjury (a possible felony), false police reports, conspiracy to file false police reports (a possible felony), unlawful threats, barratry, defamation, malpractice, civil harassment, criminal harassment, abuse of process, and violations of SCCBA Professional Standards.

The point was to force Jim's oldest son and victim, me, to sign a gag order. I was in a wheelchair. I'd never made a single inappropriate threat against my abuser. I wasn't even asked to not to call anybody. But Jim threatened to put me in a violence database unless I agreed never to write about him.

I won the right to write, but I lost my home of 25 years, most of my possessions, my chances for retirement, everything. Everything but a realization.

I can make a difference. I can conduct research for legitimate and reasonable purposes, document what happened, and analyze the choices of the people involved:

Maggie told me that she didn't know what she could say to me about what happened. However, we have decades to work it out. It will be productive. I'd like to direct the attention of attorneys and other parties to the:

Legitimate and Reasonable Purposes List

Questions or comments are welcome. For technical notes and disclaimers, click here.

Free Downloads


The current free ebook is located at this link:
http://haggishell.com/ridgeproject.pdf

For details about the ebook, click here.

The Kiralys and their associates have tried to take down the sites before. Actually, they've committed multiple felonies in the process. It's no big deal, but to make a point, we're giving everything away for the low price of... well, free.

Here's a link to a ZIP file that contains a copy of the main Christ Follower site. It may be out of date but feel free to download the ZIP file and pass it around. The file is about 150MB in size.

Link for christfollower.zip:
http://christfollower.me/christfollower.zip

The point? “The story is already out there, idiots. Keep it up and I'll demonstrate how something known as decentralized distribution works.”

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Monday 2012-12-10 — Helping James Kiraly


121210.3. It's time to take positive steps.

I'm concerned about the health and well-being of my father, James Kiraly of Pismo Beach, California; a former Vice President of Transamerica Corporation who is aging but still productive.

James was cold and unpleasant for decades. Not towards everybody. He was cordial towards business associates and grandchildren. And he did well with situations that he controlled. But if he did not feel secure, that was a problem. The four-year-old boy who'd lost his own violent father came out.

James seems to have thawed late in life, though not towards me; his eldest surviving son and the one who resembles him.

Physically resembles, at any rate. James and I have little else in common. Intellectually and emotionally I take after Ivan Kmeta; the grandfather and poet who James and my brother Thomas Kiraly have dishonored.

This article will focus on helping James. However, it should be noted that Thomas is involved. Thomas is a Vice President of Humana Corporation who Michael Bonetto tells me lives in Glenview, Kentucky.

I was originally forbidden by the Court to seek that information. Or information related to the location of my father James or mother Grace. The latter part seemed odd since as part of the “case” against me was that I'd sent my parents postcards. Postcards that the Pismo Beach police approved in advance, by the way. So obviously I had James's and Grace's address. But I am a simple Old Coder who does not understand such things.

For legal reasons, before we proceed, I'll post evidence here that the information in question, i.e., the addresses of all parties, has been provided to me by Michael Bonetto:

image

I trust that this lays the address-seeking part of the legal cases to rest for the time being.

Note: Michael Bonetto has suggested that Evidence Code Section 1152 renders the evidence alluded to above “confidential”. His reasoning seems to be flawed. For a response to his point, click here.

Moving on, James was literally obsessive throughout his adult life, most likely in a medical sense. Emotionally disturbed and physically violent at times. He used to shake with rage, literally shake, over trivial things. It was a terrifying sight to a child. But, still, he is my father. For better or worse, that is a fact.

I've reviewed the timeline. There were one to three children conceived before me. The infants died before birth or may have been aborted. If there was more than one, the first may have been the child of William, James's brother.

William is the Kiraly who was apparently involved with Reagan's Star Wars program in the 1980s. But that's another story.

As I've written elsewhere, the only person who'd be able to tell me the full story would be my uncle Anatol, also known as Tony. But he is long since dead. Regardless, for better or worse, albeit mostly worse, it appears that I am James's child.

Over the past year it's become clear that James is sliding into a delusional state. Obsessed as never before. This comes from his concern that I might speak to people regarding his past.

The obsession goes so far that James has apparently accused me of phoning the spiritual head of his church, Pastor Ron, to talk about abuse. Of phoning S.C.O.R.E., Service Core for Retired Executives, for the same purpose.

I say “apparently” because James seems to be implying that I talked about abuse without actually saying that I did so.

This sort of thing, where you imply that somebody has done something inappropriate but you don't need to say what it is, is possible through steps known as CLETS and Abuse of Process. But we'll come back to this part another time.

The phone calls in question are well-documented. This part is interesting. James's attorney, Michael Bonetto of Hoge Fenton, seems to be aware that James has lied about every significant fact.

And that James is a former abuser.

If I recall correctly, legal papers sent to me this year demanded I provide information about one type of abuse committed by James. However, the papers were oddly silent about another type.

Why was that, Michael? Did you speak with Grace Kiraly about what Twisted Time knows? Or what others from that era may be able to put into writing? And is it true that James Kiraly makes you feel a bit uncomfortable?

To my friends in IRC: Yes, it's the same Twisted Time. He goes back that far.

To Kevin King, Nancy Meyer, and Akhil Amar: You know, or should know, about the circumstances that Twisted Time is dealing with. He has taken the time to speak with me regardless. I feel that you and I need to speak as well. Things that happened in the past were not your responsibility. But they were not my responsibility either. There are things that I wish to know. Explain them to me.

The ironic part is that James now leaves me little choice but to speak openly. For his own good. It's clear that appropriate steps need to be taken.

James is elderly and in poor health. As I understand it, he has had three strokes. The obsession, the need to knock me to the floor again, to silence me, to reshape reality into something that fits more comfortably; these things cannot be good for James. But he will not surrender the delusions that he treasures.

James is hurting himself. My mother Grace as well. And he's done some damage to me. Damage that will need to be addressed long term, Michael.

As I understand it, James has acknowledged in writing that he communicated with people to suggest that I was mentally ill and to make allegations of various types.

This was in addition to kind remarks where James, ever the subtle and gentle soul, said “don't be afraid” to give him “something” with which he could “prosecute Bob”.

James spoke with medical professionals, the police, and other parties. This is in papers that I've received through procedures known as Legal Discovery. Subsequently James initiated actions that I feel involve misrepresentation, abuse of process, and/or prosecutable crimes on his part or on the part of Michael Bonetto.

I've tried every reasonable means to deal with the situation. At some expense to myself, I might add. But I am a loss.

I need help to help James Kiraly, a tormented former abuser who is not well, find peace. Perhaps to guide him towards God, the God that James has, in a sense, mocked for half a century.

It is necessary for me to speak with people now, as James himself did. To speak with anybody who feels compassion for James and will help as Christ would expect.

I've documented my intention to conduct lawful and appropriate research in the past. And I've spelled out specific justifications. At least four separate justifications, all of which are sound from a legal perspective.

James and Michael are aware of the inconvenient fact that there are few false and fraudulent actions they can take to frustrate lawful and appropriate research. Either presently or in Long Cause.

Michael Bonetto, you were naive enough to demand the takedown of website content. To insist that I pay thousands of dollars if I so much as whispered to third parties about things James had done. You shouted to the world that these cases are about stopping a book.

A book that isn't even what your client, my abuser, believed. Would you like to read some prototype pages? Wish to see the type of thing that James Kiraly is fighting to stop? If fear of the unknown is not too much for you, Michael, click here for a story about trucks. Fathers and sons. Families.

It all comes down to communication. Who talks to who and what is said. It's time to demonstrate that.

James thought, when he hired you, Michael, that you'd make me evaporate. Like mist in the morning. You know now that this isn't likely to happen.

Or do you understand it? Are you so much of a fool, Michael, that you believe you can get a blanket third-party ban in Long Cause — and make it stick long-term?

Cover up child and spousal abuse? By imposing a priori prohibitions on consensual interactions? At a level so broad that it crosses over into First Amendment territory?

It's not actually going to work.

Perhaps you'll focus on churches. There are hints this is where you're headed. If this is the case, are you sure that this is entirely wise?

Grace Kiraly gave me permission to phone Pastor Ron. The conversation was pleasant and focused on “Christ Followers”. And the church is on my Caller ID unit right now. They made me an offer and, if it's still open, I plan to accept it.

Regardless of any future restraining orders. Are you prepared for the type of publicity this could lead to? You're digging a pit for yourself, Michael. It's getting deeper and deeper.

Moving on, I'll add a new justification today for research. I fear that my father, James Kiraly of Pismo Beach, is at risk due to declining health and the depth of his life-long obsessions and rage. Rage that manifested, in the past, as actual abuse.

So, for five separate reasons, four of which have been covered before, I'll be communicating more regularly from this point on with:

(a) County medical professionals. James appears to be a danger to himself and others. There must be procedures that apply to somebody of this type.

(b) Anti-abuse organizations. Social workers. Church associations. News media. Medical professionals in the public and private sectors. Adult Protective Services. Other groups interested in positive goals who may know what to do about James.

(c) The Pismo Beach police. They are quite professional. I've discussed possible ways to handle James's behavior with them before.

(d) The general public. The story of what is happening needs to get out there. The light of publicity will, I feel, be helpful.

(e) Past associates of James and other Kiralys from the 1960s to recent decades. It's possible that some of them may offer assistance out of concern for James's deteriorating physical and mental state.

(f) Torts specialists. As a last resort, I feel it is time to look into the Abuse of Process issue.

I'll document some of the communications publicly. Right here or in legal forums if Michael Bonetto is successful with the takedowns he's been attempting.

I assume that Michael will be pleased by my transparency. Then, again, perhaps not.

Michael has poked a bit to try to find something that I've done wrong. Anything at all. So far all he's got is that I've talked about his false and fraudulent cases. This includes polite voicemail messages that I left at his firm. He seems quite exercised about those. To read the voicemail transcripts, click here.

I'll continue to be transparent. If relevant information turns up during research, it will be distributed to interested parties or to the public as appropriate.

If you're a reader who can help me to help James, contact me. For contact information, click here.


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Monday 2012-12-10 — Cognition


121210.2. I spoke with Metacognician yesterday about the changes I've observed in myself:

<OldCoder> Metacognician... Everything above, all of it, was extemporaneous. There are very few edits. It is all simply there. What is happening to me?

<Metacognician> a cynical analysis would be “your brain is full of short-circuits”

<OldCoder> Why is that cynical? And what does it mean?

<Metacognician> it's the same perspective that calls love a biochemical glitch

<OldCoder> I am fine with that

<Metacognician> you are adapting — to what I'm not sure, but it looks like your word-memory is getting a good workout these days

<Metacognician> if I had more answers I would give them to you ... I've experienced similar states, but I have no deeper understanding of the mechanics involved


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Monday 2012-12-10 — General


121210.1. Sunday night was confusing. I don't know when I slept or didn't. I took a bath and fell asleep there for a while. I apparently went to bed around 1:00am and slept off and on after that.


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Sunday 2012-12-09 — Christmas in Finland


121209.1. Here are two new photos from Phenek. Posted with permission.

Image processing: I cropped both pictures, scaled them, sharpened very slightly, and adjusted contrast very slightly. Tools used included the GIMP, ImageMagick, and NetPBM.

The first picture is of a Christmas display in the one of the windows at a store named Stockmann. The second is of a nice group of flowers that Phenek has given to his wife.


image


image

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Sunday 2012-12-09 — General


121209.2. Slept abruptly from 2:10am to 7:00am Sunday. Slept again abruptly from 2:00pm to 3:00pm. Mr. Meow offered a comment as I fell asleep and I answered him an hour later:

<mrmeow> dream
<mrmeow> about domains
<mrmeow> falling from the sky

Lots of dots
Lots of coms

<mrmeow> yes

Puddles of dreams of riches
On the ground
Splash through the APIs
And the acronyms
Dreams of magic ponies
Pulling wheelbarrows of money
Down from the server clouds

<mrmeow> dropping dns servers, web servers, mail servers, vps


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Saturday 2012-12-08 — Minetest virtual worlds


121208.1. I've added a new world, as yet unnamed. This world includes V.E.'s house, shown in the screenshot below. It's for demo purposes only. The world won't have interact for a while as V.E. is still working on things.

To visit, run a Minetest client and come to:  server minetest.org  port 30017


image


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Saturday 2012-12-08 — General


121208.2. Slept abruptly 9:50pm Friday to 3:50am Saturday.

Went out to eat from 1:05pm to 2:05pm. First meal since Tuesday 121204. Experienced the usual shock but it faded after about 2.5 hours. By 4:35pm I felt more or less normal though breathing was still accelerated.


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Saturday 2012-12-08 — I am the Boy Who Writes


121208.3. I tend to rhyme these days. It's more about songs than poetry. Sometimes I sing when I write. This happens fairly often when I'm tired, distracted, or when my breathing changes as part of something resembling physical shock. I've talked about the shock before.

Here's a conversation that I had with Phenek after I ate on Saturday 121208.

The Bacon Burgers piece below is largely unedited. There are only minor tweaks. The piece, clumsy as it is, is extemporaneous. That's the part that stands out for me. The Boy Who Talks didn't do this type of thing very often.

On March 31, 2008, my creative side came back. I knew who I was. Grace Kiraly, the sad failed Christ Follower, was unable to accept this. Let her and James Kiraly, the man who hurt her, go to dust. Those who fear the Constitutive Other are not the future.

I have a related note for those who support abuse. Abuse of women as well as children. Michael Bonetto, draw any line in the sand you wish. Nothing so far is confidential.

By all means, Michael, try the “intellectual property” approach again before you're on solid ground. It's a good idea for attorneys to poke into new areas without research. Ask an associate for words that have the right ring to them. The words will be unnerving. Oh, wait... actually, it's not a good idea.

I am the Boy Who Writes
The Homework Boy
I know how to write
I trust in the light
I know how to fight
I won't be knocked down again



Bacon Burgers

<phenek> had a tasty burger?

Won't need to eat for days
In a daze
With burgers and chicken
Too much
Such
much food

I'll probably pay for it
Breathing is shifting now
But I have had cow
Baked; and chicken too

Moo
Cluck
Not to mention Oink
For the bacon;
I have had
Bacon Burgers and Chicken

<phenek> :D
<phenek> sounds like you had some drugs too

Food is a drug
I need a hug
When I eat food
It shifts my mood
Food is mood
Shifter

<phenek> that's normal I guess

It is higher level for me
Because you see
System in body is broken
As a token
Of the world temporal

In the world where we live
Time does not give
Improvements
Time costs a dime

A leg and an arm
Time it does harm
A leg and an arm
I have lost
That is the cost
Of time

<phenek> now you can at least be very creative. you can make a lot of poems and maybe some paintings.

Time so real
It is I feel
What we must evaluate
Run towards our fate
But at least I know
Not far to go

I have eaten food
I will create
That to be sure is my fate
I will speak the truth
Though it be ruth-
less

You see this is me
The me that I can be
The me that I do see
The one that matters

At this point, Phenek mentioned that his unborn daughter was kicking. I closed with:

You, your wife, and baby too
Perhaps you'll go to zoo
When she is older
And you feel bolder
And will take her out
To shout
There is the elephant!

<phenek> of course!

I am the Boy Who Writes
I am pleased to meet you
And greet you
I am the one
Whose time in the sun
is now

It is me at last
Here I'll stand fast
I'll not be sent away again
Count from one to ten
I'll not be sent away again
I am here

<phenek> I am pleased to meet you too Robert!


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Saturday 2012-12-08 — International call dialing tips


121208.4. The following international call dialing templates may be useful for some U.S. residents. ###-#### is usually a seven digit individual subscriber or individual business phone number but the number of digits may be different.

011 94 ## ###-#### — Dial somebody in Sri Lanka (country code 94) who has mobile phone service. Replace ## with 71 for Mobitel, 72 for Etisalat, 75 for Airtel, 77 for Dialog, 78 for Hutch. The latter numbers were obtained at this link.

011 358 ##XX ###-#### — Dial somebody in Finland (country code 358). ##XX may be a two to four digit area code or number type designator. For more information, try this link.

For other locations, try the following link (which may or may not still be there):

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/dialing.html


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Friday 2012-12-07 — General


121207.1. Slept 2:30am to 8:50am Friday. Out on errands from 11:50am to 4:10pm; too long but it was unavoidable.


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Friday 2012-12-07 — Masked Lua Trucks Story



image

121207.2. This is the Masked Lua story, “Trucks”.

The first photo, on the left, is the Ford Ranger. The second is the Toyota Truck. It is also called a Hilux. The Ranger is 2006. The Toyota is 1986. Both are blue. My favorite color.

I use the Ranger daily and the Toyota on and off. The Ranger is my daily ride but the Toyota is my favorite. I use the Toyota for fishing trips when I can and for general fun trucky things.

I haven't looked much into cars. Only one car in my life have I ever really liked. Mitsubishi Mirage Coupe. I learned to drive in it. It was sporty.

Trucks are better. They are more capable than cars. When you need to move something, it will fit in the bed some way or another of the truck. The truck is the perfect utility vehicle. If the truck can't do it, you can't really buy another vehicle that can.

You can pay someone else to use a specialized vehicle. But you would never own said specialized vehicle. So truck is essential.

If I had a newer Toyota, I'd get rid of both vehicles. But for now it makes sense to have two. If one breaks down, and can't afford to fix the other, hop in the second, main reason. Second reason is... the Toyota is a 4x4, the Ranger is not.

The Ranger is better for long trips due to comfortability. Suitable for dates and business. It's also roomier. I can transport more computers in the Ranger to and from places than in the Toyota.

I've been driving since 14 and a half. The region where I live recently changed the rules. Now you can get a permit at 15 and a license at 16 I believe. But you could get a permit at 14.5 and a full license at 15 when I did it.

I learned on stick shifts. I only own stick shifts. This means more control. 4x4 without a stick shift is wrong. You have all the power but no control over it.

If you get stuck in a hole while driving a automatic, you have an issue. You gain traction, gearing goes up, it loses traction, gearing goes back down, infinite loop. You'll never get out of the hole. If you get stuck with a stick, you have control and can start in whichever gear will let you get traction.

The Toyota has two gear cases. You can put it in low 4x4 and then put it in any of the five gears and start from there. In low 4x4 it uses way larger gears for higher traction. Making speed to RPM ratio lower. Close to 1:1. Torque is increased.

If you can't get out in low 4x4 of deep mud then you are stuck. I can take the Toyota through mud that goes above the wheels no issue.

The Toyota is more powerful. It has the perfect engine to move its exact weight. You add more weight to the Toyota, it loses power. However, if you are on dry land, someone else in mud, the Toyota will pull the stuck vehicle like none other.

The Ranger is nice in some respects. The interior is great. It has more horsepower than the Toyota but horsepower is mostly for speed. I don't need horsepower or speed. I value my torque more. The Toyota has great torque. The Ranger is average in this respect.

Torque operates in relation to weight. 50 torque and 1000 lb vehicle is better than 75 torque and 2000 lb vehicle.

It works like traction. If you have the perfect lab environment, the amount of slippage of a wheel is zero. Which means the whole spin of the wheel is used to move the vehicle. Whereas with lower torque, more slippage. Lower torque means you get stuck easier because you slip more.

I've had the Toyota longer than the Ranger. The Toyota is unbreakable. I blew the third cylinder exhaust valve. It still ran and got me over 55mph on three cylinders. I've since had it fixed.

The Ford is wimpy but still nice. A clogged cat, catalytic converter, barred it from cranking. The truck is only six years old. My Toyota has a cat too and it hasn't clogged in over 20 years.

Old things were built to last whereas new things are built to make money for their respective companies.

Ford makes a very dependable engine. But it is not my favorite. Toyotas are built to last. Toyotas may not be comfy internally, but are more capable and the engines are extremely dependable. My Toyota is at over 250,000 miles. You can see Toyotas with 500,000 miles on them. Still running like a charm if well maintained.

You don't see that anywhere else but diesels. I would like a diesel, more torquey, but the price of gas says no, and no good diesel option in small truck says no as well.

Also, older vehicles survive in a wreck better. They use real metal. Newer vehicles use flimsy material.

I had a wreck the day before my dad died. I almost died. If I had of driven a different vehicle I would have. But no injuries at all. Logger truck hit my 1982 Chevy C10. T-boned the Chevy.

It was automatic, but I loved it. Something funny. My dad was against me getting that truck. The Chevy, he said it was a gas guzzler, was too powerful. Too much unneeded power. A waste of money in the long run.

But I was 17. I really needed a vehicle of my own. For some reason I wanted a V8 badly. So I insisted. He was glad I got it after I did. Because I had made my own choice.

But it is also a sad vehicle... The last time my dad could of went to church, even though I'd have put him in and out of the vehicle I was driving, he couldn't go.

It was too tall, and it aggravated his cancer. He hurt badly. We went first to pick up cookies for church snacktime. Then he had me take him home. If it wasn't for that, he would of visited church one last time. He sat at home and cried because he couldn't go no matter how bad he wanted. We would of took him but he knew he was in no shape to make it.

I wish I still had that truck. Because it is the only decision of mine I can remember in recent times that he made it known he was proud of.

I wasn't with my dad when he died. I was there but mingling with family in the other room.

It was on Thanksgiving. All the family was there. Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday because he was thankful in so many ways.

He liked Thanksgiving more than Christmas. He was very practical. Christmas cost him money. It couldn't top a holiday where little money is spent and much happiness is there.

He held on until Thanksgiving and told my uncle and a couple of others goodbye, I love you.

Held on for a real good reason. Besides the holiday. My little brother had not accepted yet that his dad was going to die. Thanksgiving was the last day though. It would of broke my brother's heart if he wasn't prepared and in many ways it did, just not as badly.

My brother finally told my mom the day before my dad died that it was time for his father to meet Jesus so he could stop suffering.

At the end, me and my dad were close. If it wasn't for that I'd be a different person. Something came between us when I was 13. I thought I was right at the time but I now know I was wrong. After that my dad and me weren't close for a good while.

But we worked it out. Especially during his last two years. I brought him food that cost me 10 dollars a day. My whole month's pay check at the time. Because otherwise he wouldn't eat. The cancer took away hunger. He was in too much pain to eat. His throat would hurt too.

I think he ate the food because I bought it and he didn't want my money wasted. But he needed to eat regardless and if that was the reason I'm just glad he ate.

We watched “Saturday Night Live” parodies on the upcoming elections in 2008. Stayed up past 11 every night. I'd fall asleep in the green chair. He'd wake me and tell me work out, take a shower, and go to bed.

I think we settled things. This is more based around some of his last words than anything else. Things he told me and addressed to me versus anyone else.

He died in 2009 when I was 17. It's been 3 years.

Damn it, I just realized... I failed him. In a dream, he asked me to help keep the family together. Then he said something in my mother's ear in that dream that I couldn't hear. And then he noted to us both that times would get harder. And now... I'm about to move out. But how it is currently I couldn't take care of the family as I would like anyway.

My thoughts have kind of hit an auto stop... some little brick wall that keeps me from being sad about something. I don't allow myself to be sad in the house or in public. I go off to myself and try to deal with it, because the way the rest of my family handles it my mom says nothing to be sad about, my brother can't see that I'm sad cuz I'm supposed to be strong.

Maybe sad isn't the correct word. More of extremely miss him.

I think the biggest problem is I have never been allowed to think through this... the rest of the family avoids the topic... I'm supposed to be the one who is strong. Can't start the conversation on that topic. Because it makes everyone else sad.

It isn't regrets. I wish we hadn't lost some time. But I don't really regret nothing. Just be sad he isn't here anymore to see how things are going, to be part of my life.

He got to go to his oldest daughter's graduation, and this is the same daughter who I doubt loved him in any way at all. But he missed mine. I guess I feel a little robbed of experiences to be shared between father and son.

His last words to me contradict what others are looking for me to do. He lost his father when he was six. Very young. He ended up being responsible for everything. Didn't want me to feel that way. He said at the end that responsibility for the family is not to lie with me.

My dream and what was said in the waking world contradict. I hadn't thought about this before.

I think that the explanation revolves around what a dream is thought to be. Is a dream created by the dreamer or is it from elsewhere? Whichever it is, is it always this? Or are sources for dreams allowed to change and mingle?

Regardless I think I had my father's respect at the last. If I was successful outside of my mother's proposed plan for my life I might gain her respect and pride as well.


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Thursday 2012-12-06 — The Kiraly Church


121206.1. The following is a short note that I sent to my attorney today:

By the way, there's a call from the Kiraly Church listed on my Caller ID. Not a new call. But one of their calls to me is still there. Tell Michael [Bonetto] about this evidence.

And that I stand by yesterday's public posts. If he continues to be associated with these cases he'll brand himself as a fool for life. He's also part of the story regardless. I'll expect the interviews I mentioned.



As background information, I phoned a church that my parents James and Grace Kiraly attended. I did so with Grace's permission. An appointment was set up for me to speak with Pastor Ron. Over a week in advance, if I recall correctly.

On the scheduled day, Pastor Ron and I talked about the meaning of the term “Christ Followers”. Also the responsibilities that Christians have in the temporal world.

So far, so good. However, James Kiraly filed legal actions against me. He said I'd told Pastor Ron about his (James's) past as an abuser.

Oddly enough, Michael Bonetto seems to be focused on implying this now as opposed to making specific accusations. Why is that, exactly, Michael?

At any rate, after James Kiraly filed legal actions related to the polite conversation I'd had with Pastor Ron, I notified the church. The church contacted me to make an offer. The phone call mentioned in the note above was part of it.


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